Don’t be desperate to meet your lover

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If you have to beg someone to be in your life, they don’t belong there.

Mandy Hale

We all want to be loved; we all want to feel cared for by someone special. Crying about your single-hood, hitting on every girl that comes your way, having sex with every guy who says some affectionate words to you are all deadly signs of desperation. Desperation can push away the right lover from your life because you want him/her to love you and want everything to happen all at once. You wont be interested in getting to know each other; you will be too desperate to even check out whether she is the right person for you. Desperate people look for love everywhere even in the wrong places. They forget that not every person is the right one. When you are desperate, you are blind to everything and every flaw that the other person have, you just want to date.

Desperation kills prospects for a wonderful relationship because most times, you are too keen to fall in love with the person and you will end up rushing things and kill the vibe that is supposed to flow naturally. Desperation can bring out the worst in us, it can make us clingy, make us too eager to please and other negative things that are not part of us naturally; it makes us toxic.

Sometimes, we don’t know that we are being desperate. We may be feeling so alone and it seems that all our friends and family are either in a relationship or married. Though pangs of loneliness are painful reminders that you are single, don’t let it push you to be desperate. In case you are wondering whether you are acting desperate, if you do these things, here are signs to know for sure

1. “I am single” is your favorite song

If you are always emphasize on the fact that you are single, and then you are becoming desperate. You use every opportunity you get to tell whoever cares to listen, that you are single. You make jokes about your status and always find ways for people to sympathize with you. This is a huge sign that you are desperate.

2. Fishing for compliments

If you put yourself down so that people can motivate you or tell you otherwise, you are desperate. If you say things like “I am so ugly, nobody will fall in love with you” and you are expecting someone else to say otherwise, you are fishing for compliments and you are very desperate. It’s OK to feel down once in a while, and in those trying times, negative thoughts may flood your mind, it is OK to feel that way. Don’t however make it and habit of always saying negative thing about yourself in the bid for people to make you feel better.

3. You try too hard

You try too hard to look good, exposing your private places, dressing to kill even though you would have been better in rags, eating too little to appear slim and just punishing yourself just to make an impression that you are single. This is one of the highest forms of desperation. The funny thing is that it is the fastest route to depression.

4. You are clingy

When you meet someone new, you gum him/her like glue. You text incessantly, you I-stalk, you always want to know where the other person is and always want to be with him/her every time. This is another sign that you are desperate.

5. You don’t have standards

If you are asked, what kind of guy/girl you want and you say anyone, and then you are very desperate. A partner is not a cold drink that you can choose anyone. You are comfortable with being anybody no matter what history that person has because you just to feel loved and be in a relationship.

There are many more signs that you are desperate but these are relatively popular.

Love is a stream, it flows and becomes stronger over time, don’t be desperate to find love. Love will find you, just relax, fantasize about the type of person you want, set standards and love yourself and grow. Don’t force a relationship with anyone. Instead of crying that you are single, use your time productively in achieving your goals and being the best version of yourself. Always be the person you are, and remember you have a life, live it to the fullest. Stop fishing for compliments, you are an amazing person and one day someone will see that and finally when you meet someone new, don’t throw yourself on him or her. Just observe the person and if s/he is the right person, let the love flow naturally. Love will find you, never forget. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs

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