Friends with benefits

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“I think the only way it can work is if both people really don’t give a shit about anything and don’t need love” – Jessica L.

FWB, FWB, does that ring a bell? Sometimes, we may not want the pressures and seriousness of a romantic relationship but we still want to enjoy the sweetness and fun of sex, this is where FWB comes in. Friends with Benefits (FWB) are a kind of relationship that involves two casual friends who wants to have sex for fun with no feelings attached to it. FWB saves us the stress of having to constantly contact each other, compose love messages, and do all those touchy feeling things that we do in relationships; for some, FWB is their gateway to heaven because they can just get in, bang and leave, in that order without being committed. FWB can be fun, when you want to hit the club, you can call your FWB and you guys have fun and crown the evening with hot and steamy sex. FWB relationship exists only when the two people involved agreed to be in this kind of relationship, if there is no mutual agreement then one person is taking advantage of the other’s feelings which is a cruel thing to do.

Many people confuse FWB with fuck buddies or backup even though they have similar characteristics, they are very different. Your FWB is a not so close friend or acquaintance that you meet occasional to have fun and have sex, a fuck buddy is someone who you just have sex with without any strings attached and who you may/may not know anything about, while a backup is a friend particularly your best friend that you call upon when you need a date to an event or want him/her to pose as your lover.

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Though the sexual ecstasy felt can be overwhelming, FWB hardly ends well. It usually ends with either one falling for the other or both falling in love in with each other; this spoils the fun and makes things awkward. However there are rules that prevent FWB from going from fun to awkward, there are:

1. Don’t catch feelings

The first rule of FWB is THOU MUST NOT FALL IN LOVE. No matter what you do, do not fall in love with your FWB; always have at the back of your mind that your FWB is not there to satisfy your romantic cravings. That is why your FWB must be a casual friend who you don’t see regularly, that you hardly hear from and most importantly is not someone you can date. Going into FWB with your best friend or that sexy co-worker will not work but when you choose that hot guy you met at your friend’s cousin’s party then it might just work.

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2. It’s not a Relationship

Number two rule of FWB is that it should be treated like a relationship. No dates needed, so long messages, no constant checking, it is a purely physical relationship. So instead of texting, sexting: let all your messages be soaked in sexual dirtiness; have dates in the bed. You are also not allowed to be jealous when s/he calls someone else sweet names or flirts with somebody else because you guys are not dating. Just keep things light and fun, so there will be no need to tell the world who he/she is to you, no one needs to know.

3. Friends are off limits

Friends are off limits in FWB, don’t get into with FWB with a friend, it will ruin your relationship with him/her if the relationship heads south. Your FWB should be someone you rarely see on a normal day. So if your friend is as hot as hell and you should probably ask her/him out and if you get turned down, moved on. Don’t go into FWB with him/her because a relationship couldn’t work out between you two unless you will end up hurting yourself.

4. It’s not a regular affair

You can’t be banging every day except you have a very high sexual urge or a serious problem. To avoid feelings of attraction from growing, you both shouldn’t see every day, once or twice in a week or two should be ok. This way, feelings won’t grow.

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5. Never cuddle

Cuddling promotes intimacy; it stimulates the release of oxytocin which makes you feel loved and mushy inside. Avoid cuddling after sex; instead just leave after good rounds of sex.

6. Always use protection

This can’t be overemphasized, always use protection with your FWB because you might not be his/her only partner and since you don’t have the right to pry into his/her private life, use protection.

7. Meet new people

Remember you aren’t dating, so feel free to meet new people and seek out that special one. Go on real dates, buy drinks for that pretty girl, and say yes to that dinner date to that beautiful girl.

FWB can be fun, interesting and quite an experience. If you aren’t ready for a serious relationship, FWB is your best bet; so long you conform to the rules, you won’t have a problem. On the other hand, if you want something serious, avoid this kind of relationship because you will end up hurt. This is not the best kind of relationship, most times it ends in heartbreak but we all want different things from life, and FWB might just be what you need.

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