Life isn’t all rosy and sometimes things happen which we can’t explain. When these things happen and they affect your lover, it is heartbreaking to see your lover who was so full of life, slowly fade away through depression. Whether a close family or friend dies or a business venture crumbles or something else, depression can creep in at any time. Before depression destroys both the depressed person, you and the relationship, it is better you find out how to help your depressed partner or if you are the depressed person, try to seek help before thought of suicide creeps in.
To the Depressed Partner
These are ways to deal with depression that threatens to destroy you and your relationship.
1. Recognize the symptoms of depression
Though it is easy to fall into depression without knowing, if you have inkling that you are depressed and you want to feel better or get out of depression, the first step is knowing whether you have the symptoms and also how to help your partner understand it has nothing to do with them, so that they can be of help and not feel angry or frustrated when they can’t seem to get to you. These are the symptoms;
II. Sleeping too much or too less
III. Feelings of hopelessness and perpetual sadness or emptiness
IV. Fatigue or exhaustion
VI. Thoughts of suicide and death, amongst others.
2. Talk to someone
If you are experiencing these symptoms, then you are depressed. If you love yourself and you want to get out of depression, the first step is talk to someone. You can talk to your lover about the way you feel and what has been happening to you, but first of all, be certain that the person or your partner is a person who listens and doesn’t judge. He or she will have a lot of questions and be prepared to answer most of them if you want him or her to help you. Also very importantly, if they have a tangible advice to give, follow it and try to help your self too.
3. See a Therapist
See a therapist or doctor to help you with these feelings of depression. If you are scared or nervous about talking to a doctor one on one, you can always go online and employ the services of an online therapist.
4. Try to help yourself
Try to help yourself out of depression. Eat more healthy fruits and vegetables and food, for good food keeps your mind alert,sharp and oriented. Go on camping trips, or road trips, try having some fun at friend’s place or at party. Don’t isolate yourself, isolation breeds loneliness which deepens the feelings of depression. Pray and meditate often. Talk to friends aside from your partner and hangout with them.
Also consider your partner’s feelings too, he or she might feel frustrated or upset because he or she can’t get to you or don’t understand you. Communicate to him or her the way you feel and what is happening to you and let him or her help you through it, let him or her know that changes in your behavior, is not because of him or her.
To the Other Partner
Dealing with a depressed lover can be frustrating and painful because you feel like you are not getting to him or her or s/he are acting up because of you. Here is how to deal with your depressed partner.
1. Recognize the symptoms
Educate yourself on depression and erase every wrong notation about depression in your memory and recognize the symptoms. Does she sleep too much? Does his office work suffer? Is he withdrawn? The first step is know whether your partner is depressed (some of the symptoms are listed above).
2. It’s not your fault
Always remember that the reason your partner is depressed is not because of something you did. It’s normal to feel responsible for your partner but get over those negative feelings and emotions and help your lover out of depression.
3. Try to be there
Talk to your partner about what you have noticed about him or her recently and tell him or her that you think they are depressed. Aside that, offer a hug once in a while, pray for your lover, be there for your lover, support him or her even though he or she doesn’t show that he or she appreciates it. Talk to him or her, lend a listening ear, help him or her get out of depression, take your lover to his or her favorite places, cook for your lover. Set little goals for your lover like completing a book, or a resume or something and help your lover achieve it.
4. Help your lover get treatment
Make sure you encourage him or her to get treatment. If need be, help your lover get a good therapist. Encourage your lover to get help and help with the help.
5. Love your partner deeply
Love your partner regardless of his or her bad moments. Show her/him you love her/him, try little romantic things, get little gifts, don’t do things over the top though because he or she might get irritated easily. Tell her/him that you love him/her. Also offer hope to your lover, tell him or her that everything will be alright, that the sun will shine again, always help your lover see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Dealing with depression is not easy whether you are the depressed person or your partner. It takes courage, strength and dedication to deal with depression in your relationship, since it takes two to tango, you and your lover should help each other out no matter who is depressed, Love is not without trials, because they exist, doesn’t mean love will fade instead when you both pull through the trials, your love wax stronger. This has been Relationship Corner with Eddie Schwaggs. Say no to depression and suicide.